Ditching the Dough Girl

Twas the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend, and it was a rough one at the office.  All day I was dreading the idea of my weekly 7:30p Flywheel date/class with my friend Andrea.  I could barely keep my eyes open at some points during the day - but I knew enough to keep myself satiated and hydrated throughout the day to prep for class.

I go back and forth on this particular teacher - sometimes I really like his class and other times I want to stick a large needle in my eye at the 20 minute mark.  He gets to me because he talks about FAT.  He talks about how 'no one wants to jiggle at the beach this weekend' and how 'if we wanted hot bodies, we should have started getting ready for summer weeks ago.'  Ok - maybe he's right - but all this talk about fatness just brings me back to the days when the boys on the bus would call me the Pillsbury Dough Girl or 'Large and in Charge Danielle.'  It gives me total anxiety and to be honest, I just shut down.

Anyway, during the four block walk to the studio - I decided that today was going to be different.  I was going to ignore the teacher's fat fodder and just go for it.  And I worked my ass off.  I ran up every hill - I overshot every sprint - I didn't drop my weights during the arms series.  And what was the outcome?  888 Calories!

I burned 888 Calories, if you include the walk home to my apartment.  That's 888 calories in about 90 minutes.  It's insane.  I'm so proud of myself for doing it - and doing it on a day when I felt like crap, and in a class with a teacher who occasionally brings back a girl I don't want to be. 

I ditched the dough girl today.

This Is Scary!

I've been talking about starting a blog for months now, but have really struggled with it for a bunch of reasons.


One - I know I'm going to offend people.  I've always been toooooo transparent - it's probably one of my biggest flaws.  I'm not good at hiding my emotions (on paper, or in person), so between my frequent eye rolls, tone, word choice, and sarcasm - I'm pretty much hurting someone's feelings every other minute.  Apologies in advance to the many people I'm sure I will offend, but lucky for you, reading my blog is not mandatory. 


Two - This is really scary!  Writing a blog feels like a therapy session that I'm making available to the public.  I've never even been to therapy because I don't like to talk about my feelings - my mantra is sort of along the lines of, 'Figure it out, and move on.'  Which I guess leads me to...


Why am I doing this?!


I have major Fat Kid syndrome.  But I'm trying to 'Figure it out, and move on.'


I'm 27 - I probably haven't been 'fat' for around 10-12 years (with a few bloated, dark spots in between) - but I am still feeling the aftershock.  I spin faster, hold planks longer, and bang out more push-ups than all of the skinny girls next to me at the gym - but when I look in the mirror I still feel like an oompa loompa sometimes.


I've read hundreds of 'healthy living' books and they pretty much all irritate me.  There's a reason that there are so many of them - NONE OF THEM WORK!  If you really want to know, the simple answer is, 'move your ass and stop eating like a fat f*cking pig' - but not everyone is emotionally or physically empowered enough to recognize that and start living that way.


Let's take Bethenny Frankel for example.  I love her as much as any other NYC housewife wannabe would, but does anyone really want to hear that skinny bitch tell you how 'your diet is a bank account?' because last time I checked, half of the US is still unemployed, and everyone's bank account is empty.  Bethenny can be hilarious, but how is she relatable when it comes to healthy living? 


So that's why I'm here.  I want to share my story of growing up a 'fat kid', and talk about how I've evolved into who I am today.  I plan on giving fitness tips, reviewing workout classes, and sharing recipes - all from the perspective of a relatable, occasionally jiggly, sometimes funny twentysomething from NYC.


Hopefully, at some point, I will overcome my fat kid syndrome, and maybe even help other fat kids in the process. 


Were you a fat kid?